I was walking in the midst of darkness when something came to my consciousness. “I’m chilling and it’s killing me!”. It was exactly the night after my 14th Birthday. The temperature of my body wasn’t in its usual degree and it’s causing slight pain to my head and spine. I continued to walk and ignored the unusual feeling and pain, but as I reached our home the agony became more persistent. I was looking at my hands and just after that I found my self lying on the floor and listening to the noise of my Mom’s scream(about 130dB – I think Mom could ruin Jill Drake’s career. LOL!). But after a moment of melancholy, I woke up and spent the rest of the night besides my Mom. A week passed and my fever was still part of me, chilling and pains was murdering me. It was painful[And memories are still painful]. My Mom decided to bring me to a Doctor for better understanding of my condition. A day of unending tests and laboratories was like the worst day of my life[At least not after we got the result]. “He’s got a high lymphocytes than normal and low level of platelets. We should bring him to Oncologist for proper treatment and medication”.
Magnificent! so I had an undeveloped leukemia[Not less than I thought it was]. By the time my Mom cried(without sounds) like a river of tears, everything about my life started to fade, my dreams was missing and my memories of tomorrow became unknown. My Mom hugged me and whispered something to my ear. “Don’t worry Anak(son), we’ll get another opinion”. But I was totally clueless about my feelings. ” Why am I not crying?”, “Why am I worrying more about my Mom’s tears than my condition?”. I don’t know! I don’t wanna know.
The next day was more miserable, because my family and friends was acting different than normal[It was so scary. I thought the Apocalypse is coming]. Stories then and there, Questions where and why, and tears from corner to corner[Hey! I’m still alive and kicking!]. They were hopeless, but I was happy, happy for the attention I was getting from them. My Mom decided to bring me to another Doctor for second opinion. It took almost three weeks of waiting since we were penniless as well. It was horrible, I felt ignominious and had demean as a profession. Why now? Why can’t I continue life without money?
But after weeks of waiting, the Doctor nonchalantly said to my Mom, ” We no longer need to do morrow bone tests. He’s got[only] Idiopathic or Immune Thrombocytopenic Purpura. We could cure it by simple medication that would boost his platelet counts”. Mom was unmindful of the Doctor’s terminology, so I personally volunteered my neurons to explain the situation to my Mom[What’s the use of me, being espertinha and smartass if I couldn’t understand science better than those mediocre? LOL! :)]. So everything turned out to be the answer of my family’s “prayer”. My family and friends celebrated right after the medication and testified my ” life’s miracle” to our Christian church. At this moment, you could still hear my Mom telling stories about my second life(including my medical records) and it became her memento.
That moment became my most important lesson in life, that I should seize the present day. From there, I became Skeptic. Not because I always wanna question or doubt opinions or because I don’t believe that life has it’s purpose and meaning, but because I no longer want to be afraid of people’s words and actions. I will not allow people, science, feelings and emotions conquer my dream. Because from that moment became the beginning of my unending desire and pursuit to learn everything.
One of the other lessons I learned from that mind-blowing and metamorphic experience is the importance of a Mother. The unconditional love of a mother, nanay, inay, ‘nay, mamang, mama, mamshie, etc. That no matter how painful life could be, the mother will always help you carry the 99.99% of your pain and she will never give up. Just like a quotation from an English writer, Agatha Christie “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in it’s path”.
I’m not writing this to remind everyone how important life and mothers are. But this is a wish that everyone will understand the importance of time. Time is cruel, so start achieving your dream and start showing your love for your family. If you wanna confess your love or you wanna do something that would change the world, do it now! Don’t wait for time crumple your dreams! Don’t wait for time make you realize its power, because I swear it would be painful and the pain can make you forget about life. Stand between love and dreams and worry no more, because “Mom will always stand besides you”