The Oversight Judgment

What is more beautiful? A shirt with a signature brand or a shirt stitched by a loving mother? The answer is none. Rationally speaking, we basically cannot tell whether the branded shirt can be more beautiful than the shirt stitched by a mom, and vice versa. But if we weight the intention and emotion of the person who made the shirt, it would be remarkable that the stitched shirt would be more beautiful than the branded one. But we still cannot be so sure because there could be more logical arguments behind the branded shirt.

This principle also applies to our lives, specifically the way we give opinions on how people react to certain issues or things. Most of the time, we are giving judgment based on our own principles and philosophies. We aren’t digging deep into the situation and concluding our judgment with the little knowledge we have. Examples: We are making judgment about a boss who gave us tons of work to finish, a friend who ignored us while walking at the park, or a girl wearing a micro-mini skirt while in front of a church. But if we are to be judged by other people, we would say that we are just having a bad day or we are just trying to kill a day full of problems. We would create barricade that would justify the reasons of our actions.

Just like an old quotation, “Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter”. We would never know what is right and what is wrong based on how we understand things; we might have had enough experiences about life, but that doesn’t mean that we already know the whole story of every person surrounds us. We shouldn’t easily give judgment because everyone has untold stories which cannot be understood by anyone. It is reasonable to be curious because learning will always root from curiosity, but the world would be more beautiful if everyone knows how to encourage and not to be judgmental. We should always remember that judging a person will only define who we are.

Love For A Dead Hero

When I was two years old one of the most horrible things happened in the life of my family (most specially my Mom). My father passed away. It was a traumatic experience and they never imagined that a strong Military man like my Dad will die in a strike of a Myocardial Infarction(Heart Attack), but sadly it happened. I couldn’t say the exact emotion of my Mom(since I couldn’t remember anything about the incident), but I know it was painful and there’s nothing I could compare to the pain she felt. But since that day, my Mom became the only light and strength of our family. I also became a child growing up without a father and never experienced the love of a real hero. It was hard, growing up without the hand of someone who could help me understand life better than how I could understand it. Carrying the pain of losing a father was my burden every day. Going to school without the company of a father, celebrating birthdays without surprises or even his hugs and kisses, and understanding puberty without guide of a real man. Everything was hard, every day of my childhood became days of searching for something that would never come back. A search for someone who took away the pieces of my life’s puzzle. I know that life is like a puzzle. When important memories combined, those memories will bring out the whole picture of my life. But my father took pieces of it and I know that it would never be returned no matter what. My life is incomplete, and it will never be complete.

But growing up without a father taught me important lessons in life. To be independent and face life with courage and moral strength. I valued the importance of all the people surrounds me and I cared for them like the way a father cared for his child. I also often hear my Mom telling stories about my Dad, that my Dad was a consistent honor student when he was studying, a total achiever and a non-stop dreamer. Dad also mentioned to my Mom about his dream for his child, that he wanted me to be a Lawyer. Those dreams of my father became my fuel to do better in everything I do. I graduated Valedictorian (top of the class) both Primary and Secondary. And now trying hard to follow the pattern of my Dad’s path when he studied college in the United States.

Some says that the hardest part of life is losing someone you love, but I think that the hardest part of life is growing up without the love and presence of someone you love. It is even worse to see that you’re different and feeling those differences every day. Knowing that you are not the same because you understand “Incomplete” better than anyone else. I know that because of my Dad’s death I would never be complete, but because of him(His death) I also learned that I should cherish life and should never fail to show love for my family, because life is short and I should be a good memory to the life of someone I love.

These days, some could still see me looking at the brightest star while talking to it as if it’s my father. It became my habit since the day I started to believe that no one understand my beliefs. Weird as it may sound, but the star(my father) became my companion in the weakest parts of my life. He might not have contributed big things in my life, but he’ll be forever in my heart. He’ll be my hero and he’ll be one of my inspirations until the day I die. And if Dad could hear me today, I would like to tell him that he taught me important things in life and he’s still teaching me. I love him, and I would like to thank him for everything 🙂

A Desperate Love

You came into my life unexpectedly, so I started to fall uncontrollably

And you came like a wild lion, filled with strength and perfection.

But I still promise to be your light when you are in darkness,

I promise to be your music when the rest of the world couldn’t speak,

I promise to be the star that would remind you about the beauty of the sky

I promise to love you in this life and in another one.

But I can only write and skin etch these promises-

Because you already promised the same thing to someone else.

 

 

I shouldn’t fall for you, because you can never fall for me.

I shouldn’t write for you, because you don’t read anything I write.

I shouldn’t care for you, because you don’t care about my existence.

I shouldn’t think of you, because you think of someone else not me.

But I am still writing not because I am in pain, but because I still love you

I still love you not because I can have you, but because I still want to live.

If my love for you is wrong, I don’t want to be right anymore.

And if I’m giving you the wrong love, is there a right love at all?

 

 

The laws of life and love of a Mother

I was walking in the midst of darkness when something came to my consciousness. “I’m chilling and it’s killing me!”. It was exactly the night after my 14th Birthday. The temperature of my body wasn’t in its usual degree and it’s causing slight pain to my head and spine. I continued to walk and ignored the unusual feeling and pain, but as I reached our home the agony became more persistent. I was looking at my hands and just after that I found my self lying on the floor and listening to the noise of my Mom’s scream(about 130dB – I think Mom could ruin Jill Drake’s career. LOL!). But after a moment of melancholy, I woke up and spent the rest of the night besides my Mom. A week passed and my fever was still part of me, chilling and pains was murdering me. It was painful[And memories are still painful]. My Mom decided to bring me to a Doctor for better understanding of my condition. A day of unending tests and laboratories was like the worst day of my life[At least not after we got the result]. “He’s got a high lymphocytes than normal and low level of platelets. We should bring him to Oncologist for proper treatment and medication”.

Magnificent! so I had an undeveloped leukemia[Not less than I thought it was]. By the time my Mom cried(without sounds) like a river of tears, everything about my life started to fade, my dreams was missing and my memories of tomorrow became unknown. My Mom hugged me and whispered something to my ear. “Don’t worry Anak(son), we’ll get another opinion”. But I was totally clueless about my feelings. ” Why am I not crying?”, “Why am I worrying more about my Mom’s tears than my condition?”. I don’t know! I don’t wanna know.

The next day was more miserable, because my family and friends was acting different than normal[It was so scary. I thought the Apocalypse is coming]. Stories then and there, Questions where and why, and tears from corner to corner[Hey! I’m still alive and kicking!]. They were hopeless, but I was happy, happy for the attention I was getting from them. My Mom decided to bring me to another Doctor for second opinion. It took almost three weeks of waiting since we were penniless as well. It was horrible, I felt ignominious and had demean as a profession. Why now? Why can’t I continue life without money?

But after weeks of waiting, the Doctor nonchalantly said to my Mom, ” We no longer need to do morrow bone tests. He’s got[only] Idiopathic or Immune Thrombocytopenic Purpura. We could cure it by simple medication that would boost his platelet counts”. Mom was unmindful of the Doctor’s terminology, so I personally volunteered my neurons to explain the situation to my Mom[What’s the use of me, being espertinha and smartass if I couldn’t understand science better than those mediocre? LOL! :)]. So everything turned out to be the answer of my family’s “prayer”. My family and friends celebrated right after the medication and testified my ” life’s miracle” to our Christian church. At this moment, you could still hear my Mom telling stories about my second life(including my medical records) and it became her memento.

That moment became my most important lesson in life, that I should seize the present day. From there, I became Skeptic. Not because I always wanna question or doubt opinions or because I don’t believe that life has it’s purpose and meaning, but because I no longer want to be afraid of people’s words and actions. I will not allow people, science, feelings and emotions conquer my dream. Because from that moment became the beginning of my unending desire and pursuit to learn everything.

One of the other lessons I learned from that mind-blowing and metamorphic experience is the importance of a Mother. The unconditional love of a mother, nanay, inay, ‘nay, mamang, mama, mamshie, etc. That no matter how painful life could be, the mother will always help you carry the 99.99% of your pain and she will never give up. Just like a quotation from an English writer, Agatha Christie “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in it’s path”.

I’m not writing this to remind everyone how important life and mothers are. But this is a wish that everyone will understand the importance of time. Time is cruel, so start achieving your dream and start showing your love for your family. If you wanna confess your love or you wanna do something that would change the world, do it now! Don’t wait for time crumple your dreams! Don’t wait for time make you realize its power, because I swear it would be painful and the pain can make you forget about life. Stand between love and dreams and worry no more, because “Mom will always stand besides you”

The Agony of Love

What is love? Is it an intense emotional attraction? Is it something spiritual and not physical? Is it a word that exists in the outer universe? Or is it an over-used word that describes perfection? I don’t know, I don’t specifically know what love really means, but all I know is that love can be a reason of forlornness.

Love is falling and sometimes falling in love is not the best thing you could experience in this world. It could be the worst; feeling that will leave you empty at the end of the life’s road. Falling is one of the most dangerous “present participles” or “things” in the world. You will be disposed to audaciousness and out of your cosmic dwelling. While you’ll never notice that everything that’s important to you will vanish, everything you valued for a long time will fade and the whole kit and caboodle of emotions will die to the shallow and infinite abyss.

But like an old proverb says “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” It isn’t something pleasurable at all times, but it is something that would make our life colorful and worth living. It is an uninvited visitor that would knock on your door at the most unexpected moment of your life (And how can you possibly decline it?). Love could be the darkest thing to the world of brightest places, and it could also be the most painful emotion which would grant you the most paramount lessons in life. And by using those lessons you will make it through whatever comes next and finish the book of your life with “Happily Ever After!”

Fall

Rise

Learn

Live

 

Nobody can escape the curse of love; never could anyone breathe happiness without consuming tons of love. And I must admit that I am one of those who followed the world of idiocy and stupidity, the world of love without happy ending. I fell for someone unreachable, someone who understands Attraction and Attachment (not for me but for someone who’s acceptable by the society). Someone with 4 eyes and a skeptical mind, a man who can never fall to the words I write. But still I’m writing and I’m deeply falling. Here’s an excerpt from the story and/or letter I created for him:

 

Hey! Mr. 4 Eyes, I’ll take the Risk of Falling!

       “…With you I always wanted to watch the stars, but I can merely sing whatever I wanted. Whenever I sing the song of love, I can see myself dancing to the tune with you. You’re a fire burning in the night and will disappear at the dawn of lights. Many will want you and you’ll consider them, you’ll like them but I’ll never be part of “them”. But I hope from nothing you’ll like me, be my fire when I’m cold, make me your foundation to reach the heaven, and make me your mistake until infinity shows its way. Make me your home when streetlights are gone and make me your pillow when you feel tired and wanted to cry.’

       ‘I won’t turn my back even if you want to, You’ll be the pages of my book that wouldn’t be complete without you. I know I’m not good for you; I am no good for you. But I can be the diamond in your days full of darkness; I can be the storyteller of the most special novels in the world. I know I am no good for you, but lying can now be the freedom to the world full of sorrow and pain. I may not be good for you, but everything they took from you will be returned by the love I have for you… You may not hear the rest of the world, but my whisper will be the sound for your ears. The world might hate us, but I’ll take it out of your head and replace it with love and faith. You’re a theater actor, a guitarist, and an artist, who likes to sketch. But let me be your song which can never be heard by anyone, playing in your heart and mind like a lemniscate. We are learning things that would make us alive, just like not a single day goes by that you don’t cross my mind.’

       ‘I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to start, I don’t know when to love you, I don’t know what kind of love to give you, and I don’t know what can make your world slows down. All I know is that I want to bring you higher; I want to give you white love, love that will not disappear even in the strongest blow of winds. The universe wants you to be married to someone who can carry a child, someone you can walk with in the spotlights of condemnatory life. The universe wants you to live in a city street and create happy memories. But life is always about the choice we make and I hope that your choice is to walk away from the universe and live a life of colors and happiness [with me]. Don’t let the Universe conspired against us. We’ll spend our life getting over to the pain of words from humanity, but we’ll also spend our whole time memorizing the life of stars, music, sand, air, and sea. We’ll spend our life getting over science and god and make a magic out of a pure love.’

       ‘I may be trying too hard and this isn’t like me – bothered by the emotions of a normal life, but for you I’ll make an exemption. I can keep on dancing like there’s no reason to stop; I can play the piano like a child learning how to cry. I can change my mind each day [but not your favorite ice cream flavor(cheese) and your mother’s priceless smile]. My ignorance will never be your happiness, but I will learn everything to keep your heart beating. Sorry to my unknown lover [if there’s any], because I found you, the love making me crazy like pain isn’t existing’

       ‘Let’s begin again to the day of love, where we looked at the stars and shared stories of life, like we are the only living creation of God’”

An excerpt or a chapter from the “Munting Buhangin at ang Munting Mithiin”
Raymond Mansion

 

You may call me a hopeless romantic, psychotic clever person, or even someone who’s a creationist of illusions. But love is what makes me living and I’m willing to be called anything as long as love is the root of everything [those words].

People fall in love for many reasons but sometimes love cannot be explained by any words and any acts. We don’t even know why some ended up in love. But whatever makes the word “love” full of mystery, it is something we must understand and value for the rest of our lives.

 

Fly High to the World of Unpredictable Love.
Aleph Alpha Naught naught One!

Not Another Inspirational Poem

You were made to witness thy world full of sorrow and pain
A world of fallacy and spiritual bureaucracy.
You were born to struggle and find thy wounds of humanity
Wounds which would bring blood and feed the hunger you feel.

So…..
If you cannot accept reality, burn yourself in hell.
If you cannot see yourself as a bullshit, bite your own shell.
If you cannot use your nose to recognize your filthy smell-
Better start to be ashamed and from there you dwell.

You’re an insufferable man of this short society
A person cannot build his own sovereignty.
State of your own capability, cannot fight for your own dignity.
Your life is just a dust on the street! Oh! that is your reality.
And pain of the humanity…..

 

The Novel of your life is the unbureaucratic search for love.
Aleph Alpha Naught Naught One!Painful

“What would I say to the 30 years Older Version of Myself?”

One of the usual questions people is asking to themselves is “What would I say to a younger version of myself?” But I would like to ask myself something opposite to this one, which is “What would I say to the older version (30 years from now) of myself?”

This is actually a good question to better understand the future and learn how to improve our attitude rapidly faster than we would commonly have. If we could stop for a moment and ask ourselves with this question, then we can start living the answers and be the best future version of our life. This isn’t an exercise for realization, but more of a question for betterment.

I’m already 23. This is the time where we usually begin to gain a bit of life’s perspective. People may say that this is a time where we still have so much to learn, age where we can explore and be a little spontaneous. But we also have to understand what the Philosophical Theory “Existentialism” emphasizes, which is “the existence of a person is the one who is responsible in determining their own development or failure through acts of the will”. It means that whoever we are in the future is the result of our actions and decisions today. But going back to the question and doing a little mathematical commonsense, if I’m 23 today it specifically means that 30 years from now I would be Fifty-three (53) years old. I have so much to tell to the future version of myself; I would definitely like to do a tete-a-tete and an unending day of conversation. But surely, one of the things I would say to the older version of me is ‘Congratulations for being alive at the age of 53, enjoy your retirement and travel around the world. Also, please don’t forget to read again the blog you posted when you were 23 regarding the question “What would I say to the 30 years older version of myself”’

If we know ourselves better and we know the processes of our thoughts then it is possible for us to see our older version. All we need to do is to stop all boundaries and allow our hearts achieve our older version and travel the path of betterment for the better us. Trust me, in three decades from now, our older version would be more mature and understandable because of the experiences, exposure, and all opinions and thoughts they heard from other people.

But most importantly, here’s another question we should ask yourselves today “Am I ready to face the future version of myself?” Because, all the lessons we learned and will learn are the same lessons they leaned from the decades of humanity.

But I definitely suggest, Talk to the older version of yourself, so you could be a better person today 🙂