When I was two years old one of the most horrible things happened in the life of my family (most specially my Mom). My father passed away. It was a traumatic experience and they never imagined that a strong Military man like my Dad will die in a strike of a Myocardial Infarction(Heart Attack), but sadly it happened. I couldn’t say the exact emotion of my Mom(since I couldn’t remember anything about the incident), but I know it was painful and there’s nothing I could compare to the pain she felt. But since that day, my Mom became the only light and strength of our family. I also became a child growing up without a father and never experienced the love of a real hero. It was hard, growing up without the hand of someone who could help me understand life better than how I could understand it. Carrying the pain of losing a father was my burden every day. Going to school without the company of a father, celebrating birthdays without surprises or even his hugs and kisses, and understanding puberty without guide of a real man. Everything was hard, every day of my childhood became days of searching for something that would never come back. A search for someone who took away the pieces of my life’s puzzle. I know that life is like a puzzle. When important memories combined, those memories will bring out the whole picture of my life. But my father took pieces of it and I know that it would never be returned no matter what. My life is incomplete, and it will never be complete.
But growing up without a father taught me important lessons in life. To be independent and face life with courage and moral strength. I valued the importance of all the people surrounds me and I cared for them like the way a father cared for his child. I also often hear my Mom telling stories about my Dad, that my Dad was a consistent honor student when he was studying, a total achiever and a non-stop dreamer. Dad also mentioned to my Mom about his dream for his child, that he wanted me to be a Lawyer. Those dreams of my father became my fuel to do better in everything I do. I graduated Valedictorian (top of the class) both Primary and Secondary. And now trying hard to follow the pattern of my Dad’s path when he studied college in the United States.
Some says that the hardest part of life is losing someone you love, but I think that the hardest part of life is growing up without the love and presence of someone you love. It is even worse to see that you’re different and feeling those differences every day. Knowing that you are not the same because you understand “Incomplete” better than anyone else. I know that because of my Dad’s death I would never be complete, but because of him(His death) I also learned that I should cherish life and should never fail to show love for my family, because life is short and I should be a good memory to the life of someone I love.
These days, some could still see me looking at the brightest star while talking to it as if it’s my father. It became my habit since the day I started to believe that no one understand my beliefs. Weird as it may sound, but the star(my father) became my companion in the weakest parts of my life. He might not have contributed big things in my life, but he’ll be forever in my heart. He’ll be my hero and he’ll be one of my inspirations until the day I die. And if Dad could hear me today, I would like to tell him that he taught me important things in life and he’s still teaching me. I love him, and I would like to thank him for everything 🙂